Barking small dogs drive me nuts!

By Windsor, King

Boxers are medium sized dogs. I am a medium sized dog. My Lord Protector is a medium sized dog. We do not bark, at least not without a very good reason.

Very good reasons are quite rare. How often does a person have to fend of a home invasion? Or a prowler in the bushes? Or a purse snatcher?

A cat on the fence is not a very good reason.

Yet, my protector and I cannot go for a leisurely walk without a small, ratty, fluffy little thing barking madly at us, snarling, screeching, hissing and howling. It never fails. We know it: Whenever there is a little dog around noise envelops him or her. Little dogs are walking noise generators! They live in a bubble of noise.

Another thing: Why are small dogs invariably on one of those long Flex-Leashes? Leash fully extended and the noise maker criss-crossing in front of his human. They take up an entire sidewalk, ensnaring pedestrians and animals alike. They are walking trip hazards.

Why?

Is it because humans consider minute noise makers cute? What is cute about a noise machine?
Or is it simply because little dogs are afraid of everything – anything? Moving or not.
Maybe their egos are grotesquely inflated and they perceive themselves as super dogs - huge monstrous, dangerous.

Whatever motivates them, to us large dogs little dogs are a nuisance. Because of them we often get treated unfairly when we encounter one of these undisciplined, untrained yappy things. We get punished when we want to touch someone – the source of the annoying noise.

They in turn get scooped up by their owner and cradled. It is not fair.

If the small excessive barkers have the right to bark at all dogs and most anything else, then we large dog must be allowed to lay a paw on them. Mind you, not bite, but just lay a paw on the little noise machine. To teach them the manners their guardians neglected to teach them.

Before the firestorm fanned by enraged owners of cute little barkers completely engulfs me, let me share with you a few explanation for the incessant yapping of small dogs. I found them in the Guardian Weekly. Jake Sigg compiled this list of opinions.

“Loud things can come in very small packages

Why do small dogs bark so much?

Most small dogs have a nervous disposition and are fearful of things going wrong. Remember Bush's poodle? Ceaseless yapping. Despite changing kennels, he's still at it. Still scratching at the White House door.
John Bridglan, Adelaide, South Australia

Because their bark is bigger than their bite.
Les Dreyer, New York City, US

They are tired of being stepped on all the time.
Jack Sullivan, Claremont, California, US

The frustration of being miniature in a world that is too big for its own shoes.
Maya Bachmann, Auckland, New Zealand”

Well said.

But even this will not stop the endless noise emanating from small dogs.

If you know better, please tell me.